After reading a very important message on a blog today on True Tales of a MiniVan Mama, I decided to write this blog post to show my direction and appreciation. Thank you Jenn, you always seem to find the right words to say when I am feeling upside down.
So here goes......







My Family, my gift.

I have basically disappeared from the online world because my life did not feel balance, it felt empty, and yes very very lonely.

I, like so many others share your feelings across the board. I needed to be validated I needed to feel like I have touched lives and did something important with the outside world.

I have pushed aside my husband, children, my extended family, even my pets and home for what I thought was important to me.

What I didn't realize was that this had a long going effect on me. I realized when reading your blog post, how I have also been selfish.

When we do things for ourselves and not through God we actually lose happiness, peace, and relationships instead of gaining validation. It feels so empty and unfulfilled.

Think about it, what means more to you? Validation from your close family members or a stranger online?

Thank you Jenn, for exposing yourself to the world as a fake. I say this in the kindest way for I am a fake as well. I have been a fake to God, my family, and myself.
Thank you Jenn for having the courage to pour your heart out here. You have again been validated here while not trying to be. You have helped one more person steer back to God's way and to put more time, love, into my family where it belongs and is needed.

I say goodbye to putting anything online first. I say goodbye to putting myself first and to reaching out to my children and husband again.

Life is way too short, I know this better than most. It's time to make lasting impressions, strong ties, and put caring committed time back to the relationships that matter to God and to me most.

My time will come when my children have grown. We can do with out luxuries, we can do without a vacation if needed. We can not however do without our family.

I thank God for last night he put me in the hearts of other people again. He surrounded me with people I can connect with in real life. He steered me to read this post this morning to show me that what i have been feeling all along has been right on target and has been him talking to be and weighing on my conscious to wake up and smell the roses he planted for us. I am grateful.

Moving forward finally!

I received an email to finally have an appointment/interview with our local women's shelter here in York County. I am very excited to get in and work hands on with women and their children. I pray that I find the courage, strength, and wisdom through God to help these women and impact their life in a positive way.

What do I get out of this? Satisfaction of serving God's will in helping others. Watching women who have been destroyed mentally, emotionally, and physically find faith, spirit, courage, and self confidence again to live the life they want.

A part of me is nervous. Can I do this? Can I really help those who are lost and humiliated? Can I help them understand they are worth their weight in Gold and they are lovable? I believe I can or I would not be on this path.

I feel with a few years experience in this mission I will then in turn have the inside knowledge to open my own shelter to help even more women in my area. Yes, to some it may be a tall order. They may feel why would you want to do this? Why would you even get into something that will be so difficult to get into place? Simply, I have too. I feel this is where my calling is in life. This is where I am supposed to go. I am not sure where my journey will lead me but for now I believe I am in the right direction.

I have discovered in me lately, the need to be hands on. I absolutely do not have the desire to run a business online. I am supposed to be working with real people in a life setting, in person.

Wish me prayers and luck that the future leads me to help other women be empowered and come to the realization that they can have an awesome life, filled with respect, love, strength, and faith.

Partner abuse a factor in unintended pregnancies ANI, 26 January 2010, 03:30pm IST : |                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Topics: Women who experience reproductive coercion, efforts made by  male partners to sabotage birth control or coerce pregnancy, and  partner violence Partner abuse a factor in unintended pregnancies (Getty Images) Twitter Facebook Share are at increased risk of unintended pregnancy, says a study. Researchers also found that reproductive coercion, including damaging condoms and destroying contraceptives, was frequently associated with physical or sexual violence. Lead study author Elizabeth Miller, an assistant professor of pediatrics in the UC Davis School of Medicine and a practitioner at UC Davis Children's Hospital, said: "This study highlights an under-recognized phenomenon where male partners actively attempt to promote pregnancy against the will of their female partners. "Not only is reproductive coercion associated with violence from male partners, but when women report experiencing both reproductive coercion and partner violence, the risk for unintended pregnancy increases significantly." The team found that 15 per cent of the women surveyed said they experienced birth control sabotage, while 53 per cent said they had experienced physical or sexual violence from an intimate partner. More than a third of the women who reported partner violence, 35 per cent, also reported either pregnancy coercion or birth control sabotage. Jay Silverman, the study's senior author and an associate professor of society , human development and health in the Harvard School of Public Health said, "We have known about the association between partner violence and unintended pregnancy for many years. What this study shows is that reproductive coercion likely explains why unintended pregnancies are far more common among abused women and teens." Miller added, "This study confirms that women experiencing partner violence are more likely to have greater need for sexual and reproductive health services. Thus, clinical settings that offer reproductive health services likely offer the greatest opportunity to identify women experiencing partner violence and to ensure that women receive the counseling and support they may need." The study, "Pregnancy Coercion, Intimate Partner Violence and Unintended Pregnancy", was published in the journal Contraception .

I sit here this morning looking back on my life. Realizing I made a lot of mistakes but no matter what the mistakes were, I am still a child of God and he loves me. I am still worth my weight in Gold to him. It is those thoughts that get me through the hard times.

Right now my family struggles with major damage on our property. We heard the worse from the insurance company....we are only covered a small portion. Too long of a story to go into but we feel like we have been robbed to a degree. As sad and as angry as I was over this, I stopped and talked to God last night. I prayed for him to help me understand all this, to free my heart from hurting and worrying about any of it. I asked him to make me very aware that these are only material things and how thankful I am to have my family and friends and with him, I am going to be just fine. I woke up this morning feeling so much better. Yes, I am sad when I look at all we have lost, but through hard work, hopefully good friends, we will not have lost it all. God gave me hope today.

It is hope within us that drives and makes life worth living. If we didn't have hope, all would be dismal. I thank God that he showed me where to seek hope and to believe in him and the wonderful things he can do.

So many times in my life I ignored that he was right there beside me, I ignored the hope he was showing me. I didn't realize it had come from him. Now I see with eyes wiser and more open all that he gives me each day. I am truly blessed to have Jesus in my life, my heart, my family. I am truly blessed to now be able to see situations for what they are. They are not the end of the world if I follow his lead, I believe, and I have hope.

Why do I discuss hope today? Because I believe when I was in an abusive situation I never saw hope, I only saw the dark days of living with a violent man who I detested. I only saw day after day being trapped and having to live a life I hated. I saw only my two babies as my saving grace. But I also saw the stress that having two children in this situation caused.

It wasn't until I finally reached out to a support group and found Carol. She was my saving grace, she was my mentor, friend, and the one person who allowed me to see again. She gave me hope for a life better than what I had. One that was more deserving, one that was filled with ups and downs but it was my own again. I could be who I wanted to be. I would be free.

If you feel you do not have hope......reach out to someone who can help. Don't wait, do it today. It will be the best decision you have ever made. You can dream and you can do....take a step forward and give yourself some hope again!

Are you a person that tends to be unmotivated during certain parts of the month, week, day? Do you sit and struggle with feelings of "I know I have to do this but I just can't push myself to make that first step"?

I do all the time. I go through weeks where I am plowing through what I need to do, then I hit a point I feel completely lazy, unmotivated, and just want to walk away from everything. Of course I don't walk away for good but it is something I struggle with.

What suggestions or ways do you use to keep you going? When the rest of the world is spinning around you and there is so much else that needs to be taken care of, how do you fit it all into a day?

Good Morning and Happy Martin Luther King Day.
Remembering a great man who stood for individual rights, fairness and dreams of tomorrow.

To my readers, I thank you.
I am taking a short break to deal with some life issues. I will return with fantastic posts in a week. God Bless, be good to yourself and others. Your worth it!

Off and running today. I will be back with more great information tomorrow! Maybe God bless you in your travels today and keep you safe. Make today a perfect day, do something wonderful for yourself and your children.

I am very excited a new year is upon us and my goals should take me further in a relationship with God, myself, my family and with mankind.

This year my resolutions are of course the old standby, to lose weight. This is always a struggle and I find myself starting and stopping exercise routines. I will pray heavily that God blesses me this year with persistence, stamina, and the deep desire to make my body strong and healthy. He after all only gave us one body to use, I should be taking better care of it.

My next goal is to do more with my family. To help my oldest son with his struggles in ADHD, to find the right doctor for my daughter's up coming surgery, to help my next son with his socialization and learn to rely and trust in people and my youngest to keep installing strong manners and get him on the path to reading, spelling, etc.... I ask God to give me the persistence to find the correct path to accomplish what I need to for my family.

My next goal this year is to help MUIB become a true organization that people truly want to be involved in and to be seen as a serious place for business education.

Next, to learn every aspect of running a non-profit, to find the right people for a board of directors, to raise awareness to domestic violence, and to get my online gift shop stats higher.

Building stronger relationships with my fellow friends, acquaintances and family.

My last goal and the most important is to start reading my bible and journaling. I need and want a relationship with God that has even more meaning, closeness, and trust with our savior.

This is simply pure evil at work. Why would an 11 year old who in my opinion should still be relatively innocent set her Mother on fire over a conversation about stealing?

This is a horrific abuse against a parent. Was this child abused herself? One wonders what the history here was, I am sure it was not a picture perfect family by any means.

This child wanted to marry her 15 year old boyfriend. Why would any parent allow an 11 year to have a boyfriend at this age? Where is the control? Where is the guidance? Where is the parenting?

Obviously this child was allowed to run her home a long time ago. I will be curious to see if they allow any info out on this case. I feel horrible for the families involved. This must be a parents nightmare and they must be sitting in complete confusion, anger, disgust......

How would you react if your child did something horrendous like this? Would you be able to look at them? Would you be able to understand? Any comments would be wonderful.

Hello friends.

In the new year I am going to be spotlighting a women each month that has survived abuse. You will hear her story, the hurts, the pain, the revelations, the breaking free, the liberty of living your own life the way God intended us to with dignity.

I will feature their business if they have one. Please stop by often and read our heartbreaking and uplifting stories.

If you have a story to share, please leave a comment below and I will contact you. If you would like to remain anonymous I will be happy to change all identifying information. You could really help another who may not be free yet. God Bless and I pray he opens your heart and minds to sharing your stories with others.